I've lost 8lbs

I wasn't going to post this, because I didn't really see it as an achievement. As far as I am concerned, I've lost the weight that I shouldn't have put on in the first place. However, I should mark it as a milestone and an achievement. I'm so hard on myself at times that I never really see anything I achieve as an achievement. I never celebrate myself and I want to do this more.

I want to give myself a gold star every time I achieve something. I think it will help me get over my general feelings of inadequacy. I'm often in a permanent state of dissatisfaction. If it's not my hair, then it's my weight, my job, the way I look, etc.

I'm going to celebrate me every week and take time out to just to walk.

I realise I never walk anywhere just "because" I'm always going somewhere, or doing something. Never just taking it all in.

Thin hair

I'm really frustrated with my hair. It's thin. I've always had thin hair, but because I have lots of layers it looks even thinner. The hair at my nape is quite sparse and if you're trying to reach SL, you need good density in the nape area. Case in point

I decided to do a length check and straightened just the hair at my nape. Truth is, I couldn't be bothered to straighten all of it. You can see just how see through my hair is. My hair in the middle of my head is not long enough to reach down to my nape, providing an additional layer of hair to create the illusion of fullness.

My hair is still texlaxed. I haven't put any chemicals on my hair since November. I'm in two minds as to whether to relax or not. My hair is thin and I'm scared a relaxer will make it look thinner. On the other hand, my texlaxed hair doesn't behave like an afro (naturally) but believe me, when it's dry with no product, it's as dry as an afro. I'm really not sure what to do. I hoped my hair would be long enough by now to go into a decent looking pony tail but it's not.

I look at other people's hair and some of them go from bald/TWA to SL in a year! It's been a year and 4 months since i started this hair journey and I'm still only at the bottom of my neck!

I'm lurking on the LHCF SL challenge. There are some members there who seem to have hair of similar density to mine so that's encouraging.

I suppose I just seem to be finding lots of Youtubers who have very thick hair which grows like weeds. Very few seem to have thin hair like mine. I've found a few so far who seem to have hair that grows at the same pace as mine and is just as thin, nalia1908 & blackhairchronicles but they are naturals.

I'm not sure what I can do with my hair since it's not long enough for a pony tail and braid outs require too much manipulation, so back to the wigs it is.

The good news is, I've gained some inches. My hair on the sides is 7.5 to 8 inches in places and my crown is 7 inches but it's not all even. My hair in the middle breaks so easily so i have to be so careful with it.

Length check

I did a length check today of the leave out hair. The right side is 6.5 inches and the left side is 6.5 and some hairs are 7 inches. Not bad. I've gained an inch since the last length check....but my concern is more with my nape and crown which affects the appearance of length.

Shedding

I had my cornrows in for about 3 weeks and took them out on Friday. I de-tangled my hair under the spray of the shower which made things a lot easier. I experienced quite a bit of shedding, more than I've ever seen. I deep conditioned with an old bottle of Hair One. I left it on overnight and I have to say it did nothing for me, my hair didn't feel dry or moisturised. It just didn't feel like anything really.

I did a braid out and went to my aunts house. I was still shedding hair, after I thought I'd fully detangled. Typical African, she was like, "why's your hair so messy" i.e not straight *rolling my eyes* She insisted on cornrowing it for me, so I let her. It was nice to be pampered. She insisted on blow drying my hair...why I let her I don't know. I swear I could hear my hair ripping out of my head. She used shea butter mixed with olive oil on my hair. She went more than overboard with the oil, I was shining like a beacon by the time she finished.

I did a co-wash with vo5 conditioner just to reduce the greasiness.