I've come a long way

Sometimes, it helps to get a single view of my progress, especially when I'm feeling like I'm not getting anywhere

Elasta QP DPR-11 Deep Penetrating Remoisturizer

I decided to switch up my deep conditioning and purchased Elasta QP DPR-11 Deep Penetrating Remoisturizer . I'd tried it before and liked it a lot, but I loved it even more this time round. I deep conditioned for about 4 hours just using a plastic cap. I rinsed it out, moisturised with a small amount of JBCO and Curl Free instant moisturiser. The next day, I applied a small amount of conditioner mixed with olive oil and my hair has felt so moisturised ever since.

I experienced little to no breakage for the first time in a very long time.

I think I'll keep this up and see how well it works out.

Length check

I bought an FHI flat iron. I didn't really need it, but since I saw some reviews on it. I tried to flat iron my hair at 200 degrees and it came out rubbish. I was surprised because I thought with texlaxed hair i'd have better results. Anyway, flat ironed again at 230 degrees and it still was a little frizzy. I also experienced a lot of breakage. Lots of broken hairs all over my shoulders.

Almost collar bone

One thing that did please me is - my hair had grown and strangely looked thicker.

Managing my hair

There are benefits to having my real hair out, but from what I feel right now, there seem to be a lot of downsides.

I'm cornrowing my hair every night in order to have a braid out or do an up do. It means I'm manipulating my hair a lot and loosing a lot of hair. I feel my hair is breaking also.

I'm not doing anything different, I just think the manipulation is too much for my hair. I'm considering just wearing afro puffs until my hair settles down.

I found some long strands which have splits midway down the hair shaft. If I have a lot of strands like this, no wonder my hair is breaking.

I also feel as though my hair isn't growing. I'm at 8 inches in some places, but considering I'm nearing 2 years of my hair journey in December, it seems not a very good level of growth.

I've gone back to making a growth mix with main n tail, mn and jbco. I'll try this for a month and see where I get to.

The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl

The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl

I absolutely love this series. If you haven't seen it, check it out

Sealing

For the longest time, I've been reading about sealing in moisture. I never really understood what this meant until I read about it on this thread. It's basically using oil or pomade to seal in the water moisture from washing your hair. I'm sooo sloooowwww. I do this with my skin, put oil on immediately after washing whilst my skin is damp. Why my brain didn't compute that this same logic could apply to my hair I don't know.

Anyway, after co-washing with Porosity control and the last of my mekatek which I have ceased to use as a growth aid (only because I forgot I had it) I sealed in the water moisture with my mango butter. I also tried the Wave Nouveau moisturizer mist only because the shop I went into didn't carry the curl free curl instant moituriser. I'm making a point of purchasing my hair products from black businesses. The cost is often a little higher, usually 10-50p more but I feel it's worth it if it helps one of my sisters out.

Anyway, I digress. My hair did feel more moiturised but felt hard at the same time. I'll try a different combination over the week to see which works better. Sealing without the Wave nouveau or just sealing with mango butter.

Cycling to work

I've put on weight to the point that I have back fat. I realised then that something had to change. On a Saturday, I got my bike from the balcony where it had been exposed to the elements and was rusty and unused. I changed the tyers and the inner tube, spent ages scrubbing the rust off the chain oiled it and took it for a spin. I nearly died. I only rode for 15 or so minutes and was ready to pass out.

On Monday I was determined that I would cycle to work. It was nothing but long windey roads which were up hill most of the way. I had to get off the bike 3 times, it was like I was doing the tour de France! At one point, I felt like throwing the bike under a truck and letting it get mangled and destroyed! Anyway, I made it after an hour and half of hard slogging.

I didn't wear a helmet the first time as I wasn't sure what I was going to do with helmet head once I got to work.

Today I rode in again and wore my helmet. My hair was soaked with sweat when I arrived. I wore my hair like this as it was the only thing I could do with it once it was wet.

It means I'll be forced to wear up dos. I never worn a braid out to work, but judging from the experience with the helmet, it looks like I'll have to wear up dos

Wearing my real hair to work

I was totally fed up of the wig last week, so i wore my real hair to work. No one said anything except one stupid fool who more or less implied it was too "ethnic" for him. I've been wearing up dos which I thought would be considered less "non conformist". I've rediscovered my love for mango butter which makes my hair feel so soft and moisturised. Yesterday, I wore a braid out, got caught in the rain and the braid out just fell apart. The trouble with this texlaxed hair is that once any humidity hits it, whatever style I had just falls apart, which is really annoying. Anyway, some pics of my styles below.

Meanwhile in other news, I gave myself a 1 inch trim. I needed it badly.

"

I'm getting fatter

I've been on a bender for the last 2 weeeks. I'm not unhappy so I'm not eating for comfort.

I feel terrible the next day and then tell myself I'm detoxing but once I get home, I'm in free fall. My clothes don't fit and I feel tired all the time. I'm going jogging today. I need to find a way of getting through this horrible period.

Thickening hair

So, you guys know I have low density hair. I've seen lots of YT videos promoting all sorts of things to increase thickness. I personally think it's bollocks. I can't see how you can increase the number of strands coming out of your head. Either you have lots of strands or you don't.

Looking back at the few childhood photos I had, I can see that I had few hair strands. It's just the way my hair is and whilst I'm not happy about it, I can do something to give the appearance of thickness.

I haven't jumped onto any bandwagons to try and increase my hair strands. Funny, it's the only bandwagon I haven't jumped onto.

I following a youtuber called nunaavane who has thin hair. I've watched her hair journey and whilst her hair is long it's thin. She tries all sorts of things to thicken her hair and frankly I can't see any thickness. I think this video is perhaps a demonstration of what I mean.

Speaking of brandwagons...I decided to try out neem oil and it STANK like death. When I first put it on my hair, I thought the smell was coming from outside somewhere. Turned out it was me. I washed that mess out immediately. I tried it because my scalp has been itching again. Neem has antibacterial qualities and since my peppermint wasn't working like it used to I thought I'd try the neem oil. After this experience, I won't be rushing to use it again.

Tempted to relax

I've been really tempted to relax my hair bone straight. I undid my cornrows washed and conditioned on Saturday. I got distracted by someone and ended up not managing my hair, so it dried a tangled mess.

I had a lot of trouble detangling my hair and in the end broke off what seems like loads of hair. At that point, I thought I should relax thinking that straight hair will be easier to manage.

I'm just confused. I want to be natural, but at the same time want straight hair. It seems like my hair is too thin in terms of density to carry off straight hair and if i do relax at this point, it would mean a major hair cut to get a decent level of thickness and it would probably mean I can't get my hair in a pony tail which would be my default style.

I think I'll flat iron over the weekend and decide whether a relaxer would be a good option.

Low density vs fine hair

I discovered something that should have been obvious to me.

I have low density hair with medium width strands. It's the low density that gives me the appearance of thin see through hair. All the more reason why I need all my hair to be one length to give the appearance of length

ugh, i've put on more weight.

I'm not sure why i keep eating. I'm not particularly unhappy. i wish i was, when I'm unhappy i can either not eat at all or get more\ focused on running. i went jogging over the weekend and thought i was doing okay. unfortunately, i get really tired on the way home and can't be bothered to do anything when i get in. boredom then makes me eat. I've put on all the 8lbs i lost. this weight loss thing is a never ending mountain and every time i make progress i fall back down again. i even managed to wake myself up at 5.30 to go jogging on Wednesday. i was exhausted the whole day and with meetings over 130 miles away from home, i was a mess.

I don't know how to motivate myself anymore.

The good news is that my hair has grown a bit. if i stretch my hair, it's shoulder length. it takes 6 inches of hair to reach my shoulder so I've finally got there. I'll only say I'm SL when my hair at the sides is 9 inches. no point in counting just the hair at the back of my neck.

Beautiful women who claim they don't know they are beautiful

In the UK, we get episodes of Oprah several months, sometimes 6 months after they have aired. I've been watching her farewell season where she's had a number of super models on her show.

She asked all of them the question, "Do you know that you are beautiful" each one of them said, "no I don't. I don't see myself as beautiful " I'm like come on! The whole world tells you that you are beautiful, your career and industry is about beauty and you say you have no idea you are beautiful.

Beverly Johnson was the only one that admitted to knowing of her beauty, which was refreshing in the face of all the other beauty deniers.

I get tired of celebrities and their alternative reality/fantasy. Their stories of woe are always accompanied by some book, film, song deal and because their image is so intrinsically linked with something they're selling, it's difficult to even take half the stuff they say as fact.

I feel very few of them keep it real.

African Style Is Eternal!

African Style Is Eternal!

I am officially in love with these outfits. Thought I'd share.

Once I get my sewing machine, I'm going to attempt to make them. I don't know how to sew, but I'm willing to give it a go.

I may have solved my breakage

I say this very tentatively.

I took my hair out of cornrows on Thursday. I deep conditioned using organic root stimulator hair mayo. I wrapped my hair in cling film & put on a wig cap, plonked my wig ontop and went for a jog. The heat from my head provided a sort of steam treatment. I've done this several times and I find it beneficial. I left it on overnight and washed my hair the next morning. I then did another deep conditioning treatment with Herbal Essence conditioner. Left that on overnight. I rinsed that out, and used the aphogee 2 minute treatment for 10 minutes. After that was rinsed out, I did another conditioning treatment with Herbal Essence which I left that on for 3 hours.

I sprayed the following on my hair:

Curl free instant moisturiser

Aphogee leave in conditioner

Organic root stimulator hair moisturiser

I used these products sparingly

I let my hair air dry and them flat ironed it using Fantasia frizz buster.

My hair hardly broke at all. Almost on every occasion when I've flat ironed, I've had lots of broken hairs on my shoulders. This time, a very small amount of breakage.

All the above steps seemed like over kill but it it allowed me to get my hair straight without breakage. The only downside is that I didn't get a silky straight flat iron, but I'd rather no breakage than bouncy hair.

My hair felt moisturised and I could actually get my hair into a single pony tail , unfortunately I didn't take any pictures of the pony tail, but I will next time

My hair looks sooo thin!

I've lost 8lbs

I wasn't going to post this, because I didn't really see it as an achievement. As far as I am concerned, I've lost the weight that I shouldn't have put on in the first place. However, I should mark it as a milestone and an achievement. I'm so hard on myself at times that I never really see anything I achieve as an achievement. I never celebrate myself and I want to do this more.

I want to give myself a gold star every time I achieve something. I think it will help me get over my general feelings of inadequacy. I'm often in a permanent state of dissatisfaction. If it's not my hair, then it's my weight, my job, the way I look, etc.

I'm going to celebrate me every week and take time out to just to walk.

I realise I never walk anywhere just "because" I'm always going somewhere, or doing something. Never just taking it all in.

Thin hair

I'm really frustrated with my hair. It's thin. I've always had thin hair, but because I have lots of layers it looks even thinner. The hair at my nape is quite sparse and if you're trying to reach SL, you need good density in the nape area. Case in point

I decided to do a length check and straightened just the hair at my nape. Truth is, I couldn't be bothered to straighten all of it. You can see just how see through my hair is. My hair in the middle of my head is not long enough to reach down to my nape, providing an additional layer of hair to create the illusion of fullness.

My hair is still texlaxed. I haven't put any chemicals on my hair since November. I'm in two minds as to whether to relax or not. My hair is thin and I'm scared a relaxer will make it look thinner. On the other hand, my texlaxed hair doesn't behave like an afro (naturally) but believe me, when it's dry with no product, it's as dry as an afro. I'm really not sure what to do. I hoped my hair would be long enough by now to go into a decent looking pony tail but it's not.

I look at other people's hair and some of them go from bald/TWA to SL in a year! It's been a year and 4 months since i started this hair journey and I'm still only at the bottom of my neck!

I'm lurking on the LHCF SL challenge. There are some members there who seem to have hair of similar density to mine so that's encouraging.

I suppose I just seem to be finding lots of Youtubers who have very thick hair which grows like weeds. Very few seem to have thin hair like mine. I've found a few so far who seem to have hair that grows at the same pace as mine and is just as thin, nalia1908 & blackhairchronicles but they are naturals.

I'm not sure what I can do with my hair since it's not long enough for a pony tail and braid outs require too much manipulation, so back to the wigs it is.

The good news is, I've gained some inches. My hair on the sides is 7.5 to 8 inches in places and my crown is 7 inches but it's not all even. My hair in the middle breaks so easily so i have to be so careful with it.

Length check

I did a length check today of the leave out hair. The right side is 6.5 inches and the left side is 6.5 and some hairs are 7 inches. Not bad. I've gained an inch since the last length check....but my concern is more with my nape and crown which affects the appearance of length.

Shedding

I had my cornrows in for about 3 weeks and took them out on Friday. I de-tangled my hair under the spray of the shower which made things a lot easier. I experienced quite a bit of shedding, more than I've ever seen. I deep conditioned with an old bottle of Hair One. I left it on overnight and I have to say it did nothing for me, my hair didn't feel dry or moisturised. It just didn't feel like anything really.

I did a braid out and went to my aunts house. I was still shedding hair, after I thought I'd fully detangled. Typical African, she was like, "why's your hair so messy" i.e not straight *rolling my eyes* She insisted on cornrowing it for me, so I let her. It was nice to be pampered. She insisted on blow drying my hair...why I let her I don't know. I swear I could hear my hair ripping out of my head. She used shea butter mixed with olive oil on my hair. She went more than overboard with the oil, I was shining like a beacon by the time she finished.

I did a co-wash with vo5 conditioner just to reduce the greasiness.

Blending my lace front with my leave out hair

So I've been wearing a lacefront wig, but leaving the front section of my hair out. Normally I do a straight part but I decided this time to create a fringe side swept with my real hair. It seems to blend better than the straight part.

I went for a jog today and found a meathod which helps me to jog more than walk. I run for 2 mins or focus on an object/point to run to, then I stop, catch my breath for about 10 seconds and then run again. Unfortunately I eat pizza at lunch but the jogging helped keep the calories down this evening.

I posted how I applied the lacefront onto my youtube page, if you are so inclined

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULxpOMmpkqc

Here is the wig as per manufacturers picture.

New Growth mix with more essential oils

My MN mix with peppermint & JBCO is almost finished, so I made some more.

15g tube of Dakrarin
5 tbl spoons of JBCO
5 drops of Rosemary oil
5 drops of grapeseed oil
2 tea spoons of peppermint oil
Several drops of vanilla fragrance
1 teaspoon of almond oil

I decided to ad Rosemary oil to my mix because I read it stimulates hair follicle, and stops premature hair loss and graying.

A little explanation below of what these essential oils do with links

Peppermint - tingles and cools my scalp and helps with my itching
http://www.ehow.com/about_5114289_benefits-peppermint-oil-hair.html
Grapeseed because it helps strengthen hair and helps with shine
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/grapeseed-oil-for-hair.html
Almond oil helps with strengthening hair and also has Vit E which is known a follicle stimulant
http://www.ehow.com/how_4964802_apply-almond-oil-hair.html

Aphogee 2 step ruined my hair!

Okay, maybe a little dramatic, but honestly I won't be using it again.

My hair wasn't actually damaged, it was just breaking and dry. I thought doing the two step would help, but upon reflection, I probably should have just used the two minute version.

My hair has just felt very dry ever since, despite frequent deep conditioning. My trusty JBCO hasn't been working either! so I guess the aphogee has had an affect on my hair beyond just making it even dryer.

I've gone back and looked at the things that worked for my hair and rediscovered Curl Free Curl instant moisturiser and mango butter. In my trail and error, I trailed a bit too much and forgot about things that I actually liked.

I liked the Curl Free instant moisturiser because it had glycerin and protein, both in small enough quantities to make my hair moisturised without being greasy. The only thing I don't like is that it doesn't have a "pleasant fragrance" like the bottle claims. To make the smell bearable I mixed in some vanilla fragrance and about a table spoon of herbal essence conditioner. I transfered this mix to a spray bottle and watered it down with water as the conditioner made it too thick.

In a bid to better manage my hair I cut off the bone straight relaxed ends last month and gave myself a trim around the back where my hair was fully natural.

I lost about 2 inches off the front areas which was longer because of my tapered cut. I then measured my hair and my measurements were:

Left side 5.5 inches

Right side 5 3/4 inches

Middle 4.5 inches

Nape 4.5 inches

Not very good numbers so I've decided to go back to taking vitamins. I'm taking 4-5 300 ug of biotin. I also made myself a mix of MN, JBCO, peppermit and some vanilla fragrance. I've also gone back to a lacefront as a protective style. It could be my imagination but it seems like my hair has grown, but I'll wait 4th April to see if I gain any inches.

My itching is back...

I decided to do a d/c with v05 elixir and olive oil. I've had it in for about 10 hours since I've been home with nothing to do. Anyway, I put a plastic bag over my head and suddenly I've noticed my crown and nape area is really itching. This was the area that started itching the first time round when my hair broke off! I made a mix of peppermint oil, megatek and jamaican black caster oil and applied it direct to my scalp all around the crown and nape. I wrapped my hair in cling flim/saran wrap put on an old pair of thights/pantyhose and will leave that on over night. My scalp feels soo tingly. I love the feeling. The itching has stopped thank goodness.

Another conditioning treatment

So, I'm starting a new job in March, as a result, I've been winding down to the point of doing almost nothing. I've been working from home, which basically means not doing very much. I've got plenty of time to do nothing but hair. I tried to make a new video but it got corrupted. I suppose it wasn't really saying much but since I'm bored, why not : /

I did a d/c with vo5 and olive oil. I went for a jog with the conditioner on and came back to rinse it out.

Aphogee

My hair is still breaking and doing the braidouts I think has contributed to this problem. I'm constantly manipulating my hair and at night I cornrow my hair so I think it breaks in the process.

I've been doing deep condition twice a week again with VO5 Deep Nourishing Elixir Conditioner, the one for coarse hair and extra virgin olive oil. It makes my hair very moisturised so I'll definitely be doing that mix more often.

Last week Friday I did a deep protein treatment with aphogee followed by two hour deep treatment of TRESemmé. I skipped out the balancing moisturiser because the last time it did nothing for my hair. I did a braid out and went about my business.

On Sunday I did a deep condition with vo5 and extra virgin olive oil which made my hair feel more moisturised

I've gone back to the vitamins. Biotin 300mg and vitamin B. The good news is I can see some growth but my hair is still thin.

Today I decided to straighten my hair. Lots of breakage ensued. I don't get it at all as I've been moisturing and deep conditioning regularly.





My hair definitely looks better when give it some volume rather than straightening bone straight

I joined Youtube

I've been meaning to join Youtube for a long time, and I made a video some months ago. I've only just gotten round to editing and uploading it to Youtube. Wow, I'm officially part of the community!

I will continue to discuss my hair but also focus on my weight loss. I may venture into other areas, but we'll see.

Wish me luck x

New year, new me!

Not only have I put on nearly 2 stone in the last year, but I've just let myself go in so many other ways. I hate how fat I am. Trying to find the motivation to go jogging in the winter months after work is really hard. I'm going to try and set my alarm to wake me up early enough for me to go jogging before work.

Hair wise, still doing my braid outs. I decided to wear my real hair to work for the first time in a year. I chickened out and couldn't wear a braid out. Mainly because it looked rubbish and two because I was kinda scared of the reaction. I wore an up do instead. No one said it looked nice or anything. I really don't care and I mean that.

Anyway, I've been trying out different techniques to perfect my braid outs. I tried it with water , but the curls came out too coiled. I tried it with the jheri juice and it came out too limp and straight in places. I think I was too heavy handed with the juice so next time I'll use it sparingly and see how it comes out.

I tried some twisted sister on my hair and it made my hair really crispy, but i noticed it asks you to use a diffuser. I'm convinced it's not for my type of kinky hair anyway.